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  • posted My life has been somewhat of my own private shit show lately. Some things are of my own misguided creation, some of things I have no control over. Yes, I am sober but not really thinking sober and just frustrated with things.

    This evening I had to do laundry after work as I prefer to go later in the evening when no one is there so I can be alone. I heard a stumbling around the corner and a lady was talking to me obviously having a bad day. She was overly talkative and asked for a cigarette. As she was talking she told me she was in NA (I myself am in AA), I just listened to her and her story. She had no place to go and it seemed like no one really cared about her or her well being. Her story was the usual; everybody let her down and what nots, various medical problems, nowhere to go and she obviously had mental issues.

    As I was finishing my laundry I asked her if she’d like me to get her a hotel room for the night. She seemed shocked and was concerned about the cost and I said don’t worry about it since there was no way in hell she was staying with me and there was no place for her to go.

    When we got to the hotel the lady at the counter was also familiar from the rooms. As I signed the papers paying for it I told her;
    “now, the conditions are don’t destroy the room, when you get up tomorrow do what you need to do and when you are in a better place do this for someone else in need”.

    As I left I told the receptionist “I was never here”.

    Now, I’m expecting some rather expensive medical bills, I am not rich or really all that well off and this will set me back. I did this not because of any religious faith or trust in a God or trying to get into heaven. I did it cause no one fucking cared about this woman. Society sucks. I know how it feels to not have anyone give a shit about you; that feeling of loneliness. Maybe she’s someone who makes a habit of this. But, maybe we can all be better human beings when needed instead of balling about our petty problems.
  • posted I don’t think anybody made a real conscience decision to be an alcoholic. I won’t debate (or try to for either party) whether or not we were born this way. But, something happened along the way for sure. Somethings also have to happen along the way in our sobriety as well; new experiences, good things as well as not so good. We learned how using alcohol as a solution to our problems didn’t work. So, now we are somewhat like teenagers again; having to learn our way thru this big world all over again; but, on a more solid foundation! It takes time, effort and patience!
  • posted today i reached 5 years continues sobriety! it does work as long as you put the honest effort into a program and stick with it thru thick and thin!
  • posted My personal holiday.

    I am not a holiday person. They’re nice and all but I have just learned not to make a big deal out of them anymore. As with many other recovering alcoholics, my family dynamics can be rather “awkward”, better than some but not as good as others. I have just learned not to wait by the phone to be invited to anything and if I don’t feel up to visiting it’s ok not too.

    I do have a tendency to isolate. I know to some this can be rather dangerous but, I am very comfortable being left alone for the most part; less people= less stress and drama to deal with!

    I do feel rather disappointed that I didn’t hear from anyone from my family about having dinner with them; it would have been nice but I just expected as much. I am kinda the “weird one” and don’t really fit in and there is a certain stigma that comes along with being in recovery. I would have just been ok with just staying home and indulging myself in my own personal interests for the day; being left alone as I have grown accustomed too.

    At my home group meeting the other night, my former sponsor but still friend and part of my support group asked me what I was doing for the holiday and replied that I was just going to hang out at home for the day. He suggested and invited me to have dinner with him, his wife and another friend (all in the fellowship). Now I am not much of a social person and rarely get invited to do anything (although a friend of mine had pointed out that it would help if I get out more often LOL) and usually gasp at the idea of social activities. I struggled with the idea but after some thought accepted their invitation. As is customary, I have made some dessert to bring and although nervous, I know that sometimes getting out of our comfort zones can be a good thing.
  • posted you have to set boundaries. not only for other people but, for yourself. self will got us nowhere.
    • fuzzy1973 that can be tough. all you can do is let them know that it's your choice and not theirs that you don't drink and it's ok if they choose to drink. as long as you're comfortable with the situation there shouldn't be a problem.
    • SoberAna My issue is that I am fine around alcohol and going out for wings. However, it is my friends who feel uncomfortable for drinking by me. I know they are supportive, but how do I get them to stop acting odd?
    • fuzzy1973 well, if you have done a proper 4 and 5th step (or some kinda of moral inventory) that's a start for things to watch out for in others and more impotently- yourself. if you know a certain person, place, or situation is going to be trouble, chances are it is. there is no shame in choosing not to go into a bar 'just for a hamburger and fries with a friend" if you feel uncomfortable about being around alcohol; always better safe then sorry. if some one doesn't show respect for your choice in sobriety, they are probably not going to be a good influence on you. but most importantly; you have to learn how to put your sobriety first for yourself, not anyone else.
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  • posted happiness is an inside job. there is no one who can create happiness for you other then yourself; my sponsor told me this and i hated him for it because he was right! there is no person, place, or thing that can create a lasting sense of happiness unless we learn to find it and build upon it within ourselves. we have to stop thinking that "i need a girlfriend/ boyfriend, some piece of materialistic status so i can move forward with my life/ recovery; it's something i really need". what we are really saying is "i need some one/ some thing to use as an excuse to be miserable and blame when things don't go my way and playing God fails".
  • posted old habits won't keep you sober or clean. you have to be willing to change! yes, we all have our comfort zones and routines. but, if we keep doing the same old thing (people, places things, thinking) and finding excuses for it. we'll eventually find an excuse to relapse.
  • posted there are a lot of different support groups/ fellowships for dealing with different addictions. not every "group" is for everyone. so if you are suffering from alcohol, it may not be a good idea to go to a narcotics addiction meeting and vice versa. although most fellowships are (or in my opinion 'should" be) tolerant of others, you also have to be respectful of where you are and what you say. we all want to be of service, but you can't fix a leaky pipe of you're an electrician.
  • posted happy labor day everyone! remember to make a meeting; most 12 step programs still have meetings regardless of holidays.
  • posted one of the things i see (and have a hard time myself) in recovery is the difficulty with "principles before personalities" in fellowships. you'd think we'd all be in this together. it's hard enough dealing with "normal" people, let alone other alcoholics (or whatever addiction you suffer from). although i try, what are some things YOU do to help get thru the day in and out of rooms?