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  • posted Hello everyone! What's new? Anyone have any tips on surviving a stressful week without using?
    • AndreaR When I have stressful weeks, I try to take some time to myself and remind myself why I quit in the first place.

      Not to advertise or anything, but I go to YouTube and play the videos that are posted by Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle, that have a hashtag of #MyComeback

      I usually play the “Focus” video, and it will make me remember why I quit in the first place.

      My suggestion to you is to try those videos and find something or someone who motivates you to keep going.

      Happy Holidays.
  • posted "Recovery is not for people who need it, it’s for people who want it." - Anonymous
  • posted My personal holiday.

    I am not a holiday person. They’re nice and all but I have just learned not to make a big deal out of them anymore. As with many other recovering alcoholics, my family dynamics can be rather “awkward”, better than some but not as good as others. I have just learned not to wait by the phone to be invited to anything and if I don’t feel up to visiting it’s ok not too.

    I do have a tendency to isolate. I know to some this can be rather dangerous but, I am very comfortable being left alone for the most part; less people= less stress and drama to deal with!

    I do feel rather disappointed that I didn’t hear from anyone from my family about having dinner with them; it would have been nice but I just expected as much. I am kinda the “weird one” and don’t really fit in and there is a certain stigma that comes along with being in recovery. I would have just been ok with just staying home and indulging myself in my own personal interests for the day; being left alone as I have grown accustomed too.

    At my home group meeting the other night, my former sponsor but still friend and part of my support group asked me what I was doing for the holiday and replied that I was just going to hang out at home for the day. He suggested and invited me to have dinner with him, his wife and another friend (all in the fellowship). Now I am not much of a social person and rarely get invited to do anything (although a friend of mine had pointed out that it would help if I get out more often LOL) and usually gasp at the idea of social activities. I struggled with the idea but after some thought accepted their invitation. As is customary, I have made some dessert to bring and although nervous, I know that sometimes getting out of our comfort zones can be a good thing.
  • posted Happy Birthday to Dr. Harold Jonas, founder of Sober Network and!
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  • posted Hello everyone! The holidays are rapidly approaching and I am afraid I will use. Any tips/suggestions for getting through the holidays without using? What do you do?
    • AndreaR First of all make a plan of what you’re gonna do, and always have a backup plan.

      Second, try and spend it with family who support you and if you have kids, spend the holidays with them.

      The less you have around the less you have a chance to use.

      Go to meetings whenever possible, and always remember to reach out when you have an urge.

      Happy holidays
  • posted you have to set boundaries. not only for other people but, for yourself. self will got us nowhere.
    • fuzzy1973 that can be tough. all you can do is let them know that it's your choice and not theirs that you don't drink and it's ok if they choose to drink. as long as you're comfortable with the situation there shouldn't be a problem.
    • SoberAna My issue is that I am fine around alcohol and going out for wings. However, it is my friends who feel uncomfortable for drinking by me. I know they are supportive, but how do I get them to stop acting odd?
    • fuzzy1973 well, if you have done a proper 4 and 5th step (or some kinda of moral inventory) that's a start for things to watch out for in others and more impotently- yourself. if you know a certain person, place, or situation is going to be trouble, chances are it is. there is no shame in choosing not to go into a bar 'just for a hamburger and fries with a friend" if you feel uncomfortable about being around alcohol; always better safe then sorry. if some one doesn't show respect for your choice in sobriety, they are probably not going to be a good influence on you. but most importantly; you have to learn how to put your sobriety first for yourself, not anyone else.
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  • posted I’ll just leave this here for those who need it.

    Perfection is something we strive for, but we’re never going to achieve. The reason is because no matter how hard we try, we’re never going to be perfect.

    If you try your best, that’s all you can really do.

    If you really want to be seen as perfect, well all you’re really doing is causing yourself unnecessary grief and anxiety, because no matter how hard any of us try, we’re still not going to be perfect.

    We are all works in progress. Just try and be the best person you can be, and try and be better than you were yesterday. That is all that matters.

    What other people think of you is something you can’t control. Just worry about what you can control.

    Remember... the only thing that really matters is what you think!
  • posted happiness is an inside job. there is no one who can create happiness for you other then yourself; my sponsor told me this and i hated him for it because he was right! there is no person, place, or thing that can create a lasting sense of happiness unless we learn to find it and build upon it within ourselves. we have to stop thinking that "i need a girlfriend/ boyfriend, some piece of materialistic status so i can move forward with my life/ recovery; it's something i really need". what we are really saying is "i need some one/ some thing to use as an excuse to be miserable and blame when things don't go my way and playing God fails".
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  • posted A year ago I didn’t think I was gonna make it, but with the right support and the right mindset I came this far.

    This is to remind everyone that you’re not alone in your recovery process. There are plenty of people who love you, who care about you and who want to see you succeed.

    Don’t forget to reach out for help.
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    • AndreaR Jason, please stop posting these things. This board is about recovery from addiction. Thank you.
  • posted old habits won't keep you sober or clean. you have to be willing to change! yes, we all have our comfort zones and routines. but, if we keep doing the same old thing (people, places things, thinking) and finding excuses for it. we'll eventually find an excuse to relapse.